We are all familiar with discipline, whether we received it as children from our parents, or whether we dish it out as adults. This form of discipline is what happens after the rules have been broken. As adults however, we are expected to have the type of discipline that keeps us out of trouble in the first place.

Self-discipline is the ability to control oneself and one’s actions, to show restraint, and to learn to say no when saying yes would be the easiest thing to do. Learning self-discipline helps you control your situations, rather than letting them control you, and allows you to make good, ethical decisions. Self-discipline also ensures that you’ll get up for your morning jog, bypass the dessert buffet, and restrain from smoking when stressed. Becoming more disciplined also means not making excuses or justifying poor choices.

But where does this trait come from? Many behavioral experts believe that self-discipline is learned by default - as children, we want to avoid the discipline from our parents and other adult authority figures, so we learn to control and discipline ourselves. But as we all know, when you’ve got a sinfully delicious chocolate cake staring you in the face, it can be quite difficult to resist the urge to indulge. When it comes to making healthier decisions, self-discipline must often be re-learned.

The website for Children, Youth and Women’s Health Services suggest approaching learning self-discipline with the following tips:

• Listen to others
• Ask for help if you think you will falter or are unsure what is the right thing to do
• Think about the way you do things and look for room for improvement
• Watch others who are good role models
• Look what happens to those who lack self-discipline
• Be the best at everything you can do, set the standard as high as you can
• Practice

These tips may seem a little simplistic and vague, but intentionally so. They can be applied to any trait or activity in which you need more discipline. Here are a few examples. For your Get Fit regimen, practice listening to what worked for others. Read the success stories to motivate you. Get a buddy and ask them to help you. By thinking about the way you do things, you can improve your techniques. If you hate running, you won’t have the discipline to continue your workout. Consider another activity, such as swimming, instead.

Some experts believe that to learn self-discipline, you should “act as if” you already ARE self-disciplined.

The following are some characteristics of self-disciplined achievers, adapted from International Real Estate Digest.

• They have strong sense of purpose – they know exactly what they want to accomplish
• They have a mentor or someone they wish to emulate
• They visualize their goal as already being fulfilled – they visualized how they got to that point, what they did, said, where they were, etc.
• They have a strong belief in self – they KNOW that they can achieve their goals
• They have patience – they know that reaching goals takes time
• The have perseverance – they will not give up
• They plan
• They are always learning
• They love what they do

Self-discipline can be practiced. Here are some sample exercises:

• Do you like your coffee with sugar? Then for a whole week decide to drink it without sugar. You like to drink three cups of coffee each day? For a week drink only two.
• Say what you mean, mean what you say. If you say you aren’t going to have dessert, then don’t have dessert.
• You come home tired from work and sit in front of the TV because you feel too lazy and tired to exercise. Do not obey the desire to just sit, make yourself get up and exercise.
• You are sitting in a bus or train and an old man or woman, or a pregnant lady walks in. Stand up and give up your seat even if you prefer to stay seated. Do this not just because it is polite, but because you are doing something that you are reluctant to do. In this way you are overcoming the resistance of your body, mind and feelings.

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